JESUS, IN THEE I TRUST

JESUS, IN THEE I TRUST

'I CONFESS TO ALMIGHTY GOD,
TO MY BELOVED ETERNAL SPOUSE IESOUS,
AND TO YOU, MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS,
THAT I HAVE SINNED
THROUGH MY OWN FAULT
IN MY THOUGHTS AND IN MY WORDS,
IN WHAT I HAVE DONE,
AND IN WHAT I HAVE FAILED TO DO;
AND I ASK BLESSED MARY, EVER VIRGIN,
ALL THE ANGELS AND SAINTS, AND YOU,
MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS
TO PRAY FOR ME TO THE LORD OUR GOD.

LORD, HAVE MERCY.
CHRIST, HAVE MERCY.
LORD, HAVE MERCY.

YOU WERE SENT TO HEAL THE CONTRITE:
LORD, HAVE MERCY.

YOU HAVE COME TO CALL SINNERS:
CHRIST, HAVE MERCY.

YOU PLEAD FOR US AT THE RIGHT HAND
OF THE FATHER: LORD, HAVE MERCY.

MOST MERCIFUL FATHER,
I HAVE SINNED AGAINST YOU AND AGAINST
YOUR BELOVED BEGOTTEN SON
BY NOT HAVING HAD ENOUGH TRUST
IN YOUR LOVE, WHERE IT SHOULD HAVE
BEEN FOR ME AN ABSOLUTE MUST.

BY UTTERING ACCUSATIONS, WHERE
I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO YOUR VOICE
AND TO HIS, TO WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY,
AND SO TO BRING OUT IN ME AGAIN IN MY
CONTRITE HEART YOUR INFINITE LIGHT'S RAY.

I ALSO MADE MANY A WRONG CHOICE
IN THE TIMES I DID IGNORE YOUR WISE COUNSEL
AND BUILT MY HOUSE ON SAND INSTEAD, WHILST OF ME
WAS REALLY REQUIRED A HELPING HAND FOR JESUS,
MY ETERNAL BELOVED BETROTHED SPOUSE
IN YOUR HEAVENLY KINGDOM ON EARTH
FROM MY OWN KITCHEN HEARTH.

EVERY MINUTE I LEFT HIM ALONE HE HAD TO
COPE ON HIS OWN AGAINST OUR ENEMIES,
WHO ALWAYS AND AGAIN HAVE WORN FOR
PLEASURE AND FOR HUNTING THE MIRACULOUS
MYSTERIOUS UNKNOWN HEAVENLY TREASURE
WITHOUT ANY WORLDLY MEASURE A
RIDICULOUS EGYPTIAN CONE, AND TRUSTED
RATHER THE WRONG PRIESTLY DRONE, WHO
IN FACT WAS ONLY INTERESTED IN WORLDLY
AFFAIRS, BUT I WAS TOO BLIND TO SEE THAT
MANY A CONFESSOR ONLY EVER FOR
HIS OWN MATERIAL WELL-BEING AND POWER
CARES.

AND SO THERE IS NOTHING LEFT THAT JESUS
WAS EVEN BY ME, MARY MAGDALA, HIS ETERNAL WIFE,
IN HURT AND LOSS SPARED AND EVEN I LEFT
HIM IN HIS GRIEF SOMETIMES ON HIS OWN BEREFT -
HE ALWAYS ONLY EVER MEETS EVERY SINNER,
WHERE THEY ARE AT, AS HE HAD ALREADY
FROM THE BEGINNING OF TIME HIS FORGIVENESS
DECLARED AS HE REGARDS EVERYBODY AS
PART OF HIS HOLY FAMILY, BUT ESPECIALLY
BY ME AND OUR CHILDREN AND THE REST
OF THE IMMEDIATE FAMILY HE WAS OFTEN
NOTHING AT ALL SPARED, INCLUDING THAT
IT WAS BLAMED ON HIM THAT ON OCCASION
ONE OF US WAS FOR INSANE DECLARED.

ALTHOUGH WE WERE NOT MAD AT ALL,
BUT HE WAS SO AFRAID THAT OUR ENEMIES
MIGHT KILL ALSO AGAIN THE REST OF OUR
HOLY FAMILY, THAT HE RATHER TOOK UPON
HIM THIS COMPARATIVELY HARMLESS STEP
TO A SEAGULL'S DESTINY, FREE AS A FEATHER,
INSTEAD OF BEING STRANGLED BY SOME
HANGMEN WITH A LEATHER, AND SO PREVENT
ALSO YET ANOTHER KILLER'S SOUL FROM
THE HEAVENLY LADDER'S HIGHEST FALL.

IN TIMES, WHERE MAN IS DOMINATED BY
MILITARY AND WAR AND BLOOD STRATEGY
THERE IS WAS NO CONSIDERATION FOR
DIGNITY, HUMANITY AND INNER HARMONY
AS ONLY EVER IN THE FOCUS WAS THE
NEXT DAY'S NATION'S UNITY AND THE
COUNTERACTING OF JEALOUSY AND
HYPOCRISY.

AND THERE IS SO MUCH DISTRUST, AND
FOR MANY SIMPLY A LIFE OF QUICK
EMPTY FULFILLMENT BASED ONLY ON GREED
AND LUST, INSTEAD OF SERVING GOD
AND TO FEED THOSE IN NEED AND BY
ENSURING THAT IN THE ONE HOLY CATHOLIC
AND APOSTOLIC CHURCH SAID IS THE
RIGHT CREED.

HOW CAN YOU EVER FORGIVE ME,
MY BELOVED BAALI!
I AM THROWING MYSELF AT THY FEET
AS IN THE BEGINNING ONCE AGAIN IN ALL HUMILITY,
AS ONLY THROUGH YOUR MERCY AND THROUGH GOD'S GRACE
CAN I DARE TO HOPE TO FULFILL AND TO BE WORTHY
AT THY SIDE TO BE TRULY YOUR OTHER HALF
TO HELP YOU SHARE THE BURDEN IN HOW
TO LEAD BY EXAMPLE IN LOVE THE WHOLE OF
THE HUMAN RACE THROUGH OUR LOVE ONLY
AND THROUGH YOUR OWN LOVE, KINDNESS
AND GRACE.
BUT THE REST, IF I MAY, I WOULD RATHER SAY
TO YOU IN PRIVATE, IF THAT IS ALRIGHT WITH YOU,
FROM FACE TO FACE.

ONE THING IS FOR SURE - I THINK I HAVE LEARNT
MY LESSON AND MY SOUL AND MY HEART
IS NOW PURE AND READY TO FULFILL ON EARTH
AS IN HEAVEN WITH YOU MY MOST HOLY ROLE,
IF YOU WANT ME TO. AS I AM NOT WORTHY THAT
THOU SHOULDST COME EVEN UNDER MY ROOF,
NOR THAT I DARE TO THINK I COULD EVER FIT
INTO THY FOOTPRINT OR SHOE.

BUT I PROMISE TO DEFEND YOUR HOLY CATHOLIC
AND APOSTOLIC CHURCH FREE FROM ANY FOE,
THROUGH MY LOVE OVERFLOWING FOR THEE,
AS I AM THINE, BAALI, FOR ETERNITY IN ANY
WAY YOU WANT ME.

I WILL SING AND PRAISE YOUR PRAISE AND
GLORY AND I WILL MAKE SURE THAT MY POEMS
BRING TO LIFE OUR TRUE LIVING STORY, AND
I PROMISE THAT I WILL ONLY WITH YOU TOGETHER
OUR HOLY CHILD RAISE, AND AS A TAME DOVE
AT THY FEET PICK THY CRUMBS AND WITH THY
LAMBS ON THE MEADOW GRAZE.

IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER, THE SON AND THE HOLY SPIRIT.

WITH ALL MY LOVE,
YOUR ISHTI,
THE ETERNAL SINNER
AND REPENTANT
FROM MY INNERMOST HEART
THAT IS JOURNEYING EVER DEEPER
INTO THINE UNIVERSE

Your Miri-Mary (Rosie, Holy Rose)
Your Dove
and eternal wife
Your Sisi (and in all other past incarnations:
Eve, Sarah, Yocheved, Ruth, Gizi, Trixie, Elise,
Maggie, Josie, Lily)
and Mother of your children,
who tries to prevent all holy souls
from their heavenly ladder's fall

Mother Ziggy Agocsi
(and yes, I think thou art right,
we better eat instead of apple pear,
and I pray that God still thinks that it is
a good idea for us to give again our vow
for the last time on earth as the eternal
heavenly pair)
3rd March 2009